Assalamu'alaikum wrt wbt,
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
I believe each and every one of us have encountered that one particular point in our life where everything seems so wrong for no reason. it just feels...wrong. and your heart feels empty. and you feel lonely. and you start to turn to something else to fill the holes, yet the chaotic silence in you is still haunting. and you swayed far from your inner peace. and at another point you realised how far you have gone. Guilt.
Be grateful when that feeling kicks in. Your heart is still alive.
That first breath you take after waking up every morning comes with millions of reasons to be grateful. You are still alive. You still have a chance to watch the beauty of His creations. You might have time to finish the assignment due today. But most importantly, you have the chance to make everything better than they were yesterday, including yourself.
Stop dwelling in the past. Cry first if you need to, but move on as fast as you can.
When you have that feeling, it's definitely a guidance from Allah. Hold it tightly and don't let it go, because the next time might never come, and (referring to the coming new year) you might not live to the next year. Take whatever you have now, and utilise them wisely.
As a normal human being I understand that it's hard, but make even a slightest effort is much much better than nothing. Never let the turtle speed stop you.
Have faith, have determination.
Saturday 27 December 2014
Tuesday 23 December 2014
9, sick and 3.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Assalamu'alaikum wrt wbt.
Life vs me. Life has won. Thoughts of letting my fingers dance stayed as mere thoughts and many things have diffused away. I'm not even sure where to start now. Things changed quite drastically this year and the path comes in spiral and zigzag. i've stayed dormant for 9 months from writing, and i've broken quite a number of promises to myself to start again, but today alhamdulillah i've let my fingers win. not quite, im unwell so i got some extra times to make something i usually dont have a chance to do so. like writing.
This year i'd say is quite an important year. another transition took place, but it was unexpected to be like it is now. Apart from the busyness of handling activities (ref :here), gaining experiences and what nots, i was supposed to start my university last August. My choices and enrollment process was quite epic. Ranging from studying abroad, staying local to gap year (but this one came quite later than the other two), from psychology, media and communication, law to theology, i've got my next destination backed up with plans with several letters. Currently, however, it's my third month in Istanbul and i know people still celebrate monthsaries, today marks my third monthsary of leaving Brunei lol.
i was surprised as well that eventually i'd end up here. as a normal human being it's normal to have that desire to step foot in here but never in my whole life have i imagined to come and stay here as a student. i have enrolled to UBD the other day and was actually quite determined to develop that best of me, but right after the 4th day of orientation one email turned everything 180 degrees. i was actually quite scared to take that chance but after consultations with everyone and the process went very smoothly, i was convinced that this is the path that i was meant to walk on.
and with of all struggles i've faced, indeed Allah is the best planner. i managed to slowly brush off some bad habits i was hardly able to kill back then,develop new ones and with the responsibilities that came along and people i met along the way, this struggle is one of the best things that happened to me. but i'd be lying if i said i never reach any weak point. i did have some breakdowns that left me feeling shattered, but i learnt to wipe my own tears, get over it and be as strong as i can.
The lesson i learnt? everything happens for many reasons. it is hard to embrace this new life, but if i were to stay in my comfort zone and looking back now, i cant trust that person to realise my dream.
Here's an inspiration to keep moving and breaking the cycle
Assalamu'alaikum wrt wbt.
Life vs me. Life has won. Thoughts of letting my fingers dance stayed as mere thoughts and many things have diffused away. I'm not even sure where to start now. Things changed quite drastically this year and the path comes in spiral and zigzag. i've stayed dormant for 9 months from writing, and i've broken quite a number of promises to myself to start again, but today alhamdulillah i've let my fingers win. not quite, im unwell so i got some extra times to make something i usually dont have a chance to do so. like writing.
This year i'd say is quite an important year. another transition took place, but it was unexpected to be like it is now. Apart from the busyness of handling activities (ref :here), gaining experiences and what nots, i was supposed to start my university last August. My choices and enrollment process was quite epic. Ranging from studying abroad, staying local to gap year (but this one came quite later than the other two), from psychology, media and communication, law to theology, i've got my next destination backed up with plans with several letters. Currently, however, it's my third month in Istanbul and i know people still celebrate monthsaries, today marks my third monthsary of leaving Brunei lol.
i was surprised as well that eventually i'd end up here. as a normal human being it's normal to have that desire to step foot in here but never in my whole life have i imagined to come and stay here as a student. i have enrolled to UBD the other day and was actually quite determined to develop that best of me, but right after the 4th day of orientation one email turned everything 180 degrees. i was actually quite scared to take that chance but after consultations with everyone and the process went very smoothly, i was convinced that this is the path that i was meant to walk on.
and with of all struggles i've faced, indeed Allah is the best planner. i managed to slowly brush off some bad habits i was hardly able to kill back then,develop new ones and with the responsibilities that came along and people i met along the way, this struggle is one of the best things that happened to me. but i'd be lying if i said i never reach any weak point. i did have some breakdowns that left me feeling shattered, but i learnt to wipe my own tears, get over it and be as strong as i can.
The lesson i learnt? everything happens for many reasons. it is hard to embrace this new life, but if i were to stay in my comfort zone and looking back now, i cant trust that person to realise my dream.
Here's an inspiration to keep moving and breaking the cycle
“The intelligent and refined find no rest in dwelling in one place,
So leave your homeland and travel far away!
Travel and you will meet new people replacing those left behind,
And tire yourself out, because it makes life worth living!
I have seen that water stagnates when it stands still,
Yet when it runs it is sweet and pure.
And if the lion left not its land,
it would not catch its prey
And if the arrow left not the bow,
it would not hit its aim
And if the sun moved not across the horizon,
People the world over would have tired of the sky.”
- Imam Shafi'e
Monday 17 March 2014
Who are we to judge?
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
so everyone's heard of the death of the 6 youths caused by drug overdose during the FMFA(?)
social networks have been buzzing with criticisms and comments.
people sighing and shaking their heads upon hearing the news.
i know it's inevitable to have that (yknow what i mean) thought. I personally have crossed that situation as well.
STOP.
clear everything in your mind
and ask yourself.
who am i to deny that Allah is The Most Merciful?
Husnuzon. what you see may not be the real picture. i mean, c'mon. i believe almost everyone got deceived by Jasmine Johari, including Awaniand me. what has been reported by the medias are mere facts. dont quickly judge anything based on what you've been told. yes, we have our own perceptions, but again, husnuzon. brush off that negative thoughts.
you never know if they got to repent that very final second before Izrail took their lives.
and once Allah have accepted their repentance everything in the sin account will be cleared out. EVERYTHING. which technically means they are just as pure as babies.
and compare that with us, who are soooo busy being judgmental and whatnot. well...
just stop being so judgmental. keep on making du'a for them, keep on making du'a for ourselves and our loved ones, for du'a is the weapon of the Believers.
leave the judging to Allah. dont be too consumed by your point of view.
Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
so everyone's heard of the death of the 6 youths caused by drug overdose during the FMFA(?)
social networks have been buzzing with criticisms and comments.
people sighing and shaking their heads upon hearing the news.
i know it's inevitable to have that (yknow what i mean) thought. I personally have crossed that situation as well.
STOP.
clear everything in your mind
and ask yourself.
who am i to deny that Allah is The Most Merciful?
Husnuzon. what you see may not be the real picture. i mean, c'mon. i believe almost everyone got deceived by Jasmine Johari, including Awani
you never know if they got to repent that very final second before Izrail took their lives.
and once Allah have accepted their repentance everything in the sin account will be cleared out. EVERYTHING. which technically means they are just as pure as babies.
and compare that with us, who are soooo busy being judgmental and whatnot. well...
just stop being so judgmental. keep on making du'a for them, keep on making du'a for ourselves and our loved ones, for du'a is the weapon of the Believers.
leave the judging to Allah. dont be too consumed by your point of view.
Thursday 13 March 2014
Death - the ultimate resting time
Assalamu'alaikum
so in my previous entry i have stated that i am currently on a long leave, and it has got longer since the results came out last month, and alhamdulillah i am eligible to continue my study to uni level.
and that extra time to waste? HAHAHAHAHAHA
i've been busy.
which is a great thing, because i just simply have no time to waste.
well actually i do, but not as much as i have expected.
im all occupied by activities, especially our new club, which has become a quarter of me. The endless meetings, discussions, this that yada yada, and all gone the imaginations of me chilling in my room goyang kaki watching aku ada wali and giggling my heart out. honestly i have never been this productive my whole life, which.. alhamdulillah, is another achievement.
my body clock however is kinda messed up now. my free time is almost always occupied with hours of napand excessive eating and constant weariness. i couldnt help looking forward to the break we have planned, and as usual, some kind of epiphany hit me.
i remember how once a friend of mine told me how her grandmother complained on how tired she was with the endless chores. "sudah mati kali baru buleh berehat?" she said. the answer to the supposedly theoretical question, however,is ironically YES. this world isnt a resting place. we are constantly being tested by Al- Khaliq both consciously and unconsciously, be it with hardship or ease. Allah tests us with hardship to see if we will turn to him to seek for His help, and He tests us with ease to see if we will thank Him for granting us ease, and it wont stop unless we're dead. well, life is a constant battle right?
The life after death is directly proportional to how we did in the world. think you will gain the highest Jannah just like that? the real success is attaining Jannah, and the sweetness of success can only be felt after tiring yourself with selfless efforts. tired of life? tiring life? thats normal. dont give up just yet. even the Burj Khalifa didnt finish in just one day. work hard for the afterlife, there's a reason why Allah has provided us with a massively long list of ibadah. gather as much good deeds as you can, so you can rest peacefully in your grave later in life.
may the odds be ever in our favour. xx
so in my previous entry i have stated that i am currently on a long leave, and it has got longer since the results came out last month, and alhamdulillah i am eligible to continue my study to uni level.
and that extra time to waste? HAHAHAHAHAHA
i've been busy.
which is a great thing, because i just simply have no time to waste.
well actually i do, but not as much as i have expected.
im all occupied by activities, especially our new club, which has become a quarter of me. The endless meetings, discussions, this that yada yada, and all gone the imaginations of me chilling in my room goyang kaki watching aku ada wali and giggling my heart out. honestly i have never been this productive my whole life, which.. alhamdulillah, is another achievement.
my body clock however is kinda messed up now. my free time is almost always occupied with hours of nap
i remember how once a friend of mine told me how her grandmother complained on how tired she was with the endless chores. "sudah mati kali baru buleh berehat?" she said. the answer to the supposedly theoretical question, however,is ironically YES. this world isnt a resting place. we are constantly being tested by Al- Khaliq both consciously and unconsciously, be it with hardship or ease. Allah tests us with hardship to see if we will turn to him to seek for His help, and He tests us with ease to see if we will thank Him for granting us ease, and it wont stop unless we're dead. well, life is a constant battle right?
The life after death is directly proportional to how we did in the world. think you will gain the highest Jannah just like that? the real success is attaining Jannah, and the sweetness of success can only be felt after tiring yourself with selfless efforts. tired of life? tiring life? thats normal. dont give up just yet. even the Burj Khalifa didnt finish in just one day. work hard for the afterlife, there's a reason why Allah has provided us with a massively long list of ibadah. gather as much good deeds as you can, so you can rest peacefully in your grave later in life.
may the odds be ever in our favour. xx
Monday 6 January 2014
A talk on the time
Assalamu'alaikum.
AAAAAAaaand it's 2014! time flies so fast when you use it wisely, but it flies faster when you waste it lol. New year comes again Alhamdulillah. All praise goes to Allah who has given us opportunity to continue living on His earth.
im pretty sure im gonna have a hard time writing down the number 2014 on anything that needs a date, because my 2013 is virtually extended since im on a long leave. result will be out in about a month and i will be away from formal education for (HOPEFULLY!!) 6-8 months or so, sooo yeah. extra time to waste. NOT!
i believe this doesnt happen to me alone. looking back at the past years, i wish i hadnt wasted so much time on useless things or activities, because i have realised now that i have been missing some, if not most, of the crucial parts of my life. i sometimes ask myself what have i done with my life in averagely 3 intonations, and although it gives several answers depending on the tone, numerically it's either negative or just a bit more than 0. and it's not about me alone, but everybody else. why be bothered you might ask. but, why not? right?
believe it or not even our tiniest action may trigger reactions in some ways from people. at the age of 17, what have i done to people around me so far? im still searching for the answer actually, or better yet, im making the answer. 17 years, almost half of it spent/wasted on unnecessary things, and only at 16-17 do i realise that many things have slipped through my fingers. fortunately im not too late.
we are never too young to contribute to our communities, my dearest friends. we arent gonna live forever, and death is just right behind you. you can never promise that you will still be alive tomorrow. try your best to not waste even a jiffy of time granted by Allah to you. dont wait until you are "old enough" or worse -dead. dont be another burden on someone else's shoulder, even your parents.
AAAAAAaaand it's 2014! time flies so fast when you use it wisely, but it flies faster when you waste it lol. New year comes again Alhamdulillah. All praise goes to Allah who has given us opportunity to continue living on His earth.
im pretty sure im gonna have a hard time writing down the number 2014 on anything that needs a date, because my 2013 is virtually extended since im on a long leave. result will be out in about a month and i will be away from formal education for (HOPEFULLY!!) 6-8 months or so, sooo yeah. extra time to waste. NOT!
i believe this doesnt happen to me alone. looking back at the past years, i wish i hadnt wasted so much time on useless things or activities, because i have realised now that i have been missing some, if not most, of the crucial parts of my life. i sometimes ask myself what have i done with my life in averagely 3 intonations, and although it gives several answers depending on the tone, numerically it's either negative or just a bit more than 0. and it's not about me alone, but everybody else. why be bothered you might ask. but, why not? right?
believe it or not even our tiniest action may trigger reactions in some ways from people. at the age of 17, what have i done to people around me so far? im still searching for the answer actually, or better yet, im making the answer. 17 years, almost half of it spent/wasted on unnecessary things, and only at 16-17 do i realise that many things have slipped through my fingers. fortunately im not too late.
we are never too young to contribute to our communities, my dearest friends. we arent gonna live forever, and death is just right behind you. you can never promise that you will still be alive tomorrow. try your best to not waste even a jiffy of time granted by Allah to you. dont wait until you are "old enough" or worse -dead. dont be another burden on someone else's shoulder, even your parents.
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