Being responsible for yourself.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

It's been close to 5 months since I left home, and one of the major life lesson I've learnt (still having it in fact) is self-management. Not saying that I can't manage myself before, but after coming here I need to do it more than before. I'm sure I'm not the only one facing this.

No more scream demanding you to clean your room.

No more voice telling you to eat properly to keep your gastric at bay.

Having no one you can wake up at 3 in the morning to drive you to the hospital because your fever has not subsided after 4 days and is keeping you awake.

It's saddening and breaking you apart at times . All your source of strength is Allah, yourself and your friends. Oh, and your family too, via virtual world.

But deep inside you know that you can't be forever dependent like that. You know that one day it will end, but you are having it in a different way and maybe a bit earlier. So you decide that you have to get up on your feet on your own, walk your path, try not to stumble.

It's tiring. One day you might even find yourself shattered all over the place because it's squeezing you too tightly.

But isn't that the purpose of Allah sending you into such situation? A strong Muslim is more favoured by Allah than a weak one, and He is impressed by those who do not waste their time of youth.

It's not a shame to be responsible for yourself. It's a shame if you can't be responsible for yourself. Being responsible for yourself is basically providing the best for yourself, not letting yourself astray towards destruction.

Be grateful when  Allah sent you to a place where you need to raise yourself up. Allah is giving you a chance to impress Him. Being away from your family means you need to look after yourself and have control over yourself.

And everybody has a control over themselves, but only one out of two can hold the remote, either desire or wisdom.

You decide.